Our Memories Defeat Us [8/10?]
Title: Our Memories Defeat Us [8/10?]
Author: myhagridromance
Pairing: Frank/Mikey, past Frank/Jamia
Rating: 13
POV: Frank
Summary: Frank wonders if he will ever be the same again after a thoughtless drunk driver tears his life apart.
Disclaimer: Not real, never happened. The title is from ‘Early Sunsets Over Monroeville’ by My Chemical Romance.
Author Notes: Right. For some reason I had real difficulty with this chapter, so I'm sorry for the late update. I'm sorry if it's not good, I re-wrote it so many times that it got to the point where I just got pissed off and left it. Sigh. Comments? xxxx
Previous Chapters: Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven


- Mikey POV -

It was a long night. Okay, that's an exaggeration. It was like every second was stabbing into my body.

I got to sleep fine, but I wasn't sleeping for very long. Frank was on the bunk above, and he was so restless that the bed shook violently enough to wake me. After that I lay there listening to him whispering to himself and moving around non-stop. My eyelids grew heavy and when he lay still for a few minutes, I drifted slowly back to sleep.

I had barely relaxed when Frank's foot appeared on the ladder above me. I watched him, squinting so he wouldn't see I was awake, as he jumped down onto the cold floor and walked over to the sink in the far corner.

He picked up one of the pieces of the mirror that I broke during a come-down and fitted it into a slot where the missing piece could go. My heart hammered as he smiled his adorable smile when it fitted pretty good. He slid it into place carefully, but we both jumped in shock when his finger caught one of the wall tiles next to the mirror and it dropped to the floor and smashed into two pieces. I saw his worried eyes for a split-second when he turned to see if he had woken me, but I shut my eyes tightly and hoped he hadn't noticed. When I dared to open them again, Frank was holding up a little plastic bag to the light that was coming in through the window.

Fuck. I very nearly gave myself away and screamed at the top of my lungs when I realised the contents of that bag. It was the drugs the dealer had given me a while ago, and I hid hidden them behind the wall tile in the hope that he wouldn't ever find them. Would he be mad at me?

He didn't look mad. The light shifted to illuminate his excited face. His eyes were shining and his mouth was hanging open as he poured the pills onto his hand. If anything, he seemed... fascinated. Maybe he thought they were for something else? But how could he have forgotten what I'd told him about my addiction?

And then he took the largest pill between two of his fingers, smiling, but there was something wrong with this smile. It was full of adrenalin and mischief, and reminded me of... me. My heart was in my throat as I didn't even know if I should watch to see what he would do. I wanted to jump out of bed and take the pills from his hands, make him promise never to touch them, and take him into my arms, but I couldn't move. I buried my face in my pillow, not wanting to see.

I didn't have to see. I heard his body sink to the floor, his manic laughter, his body twitching, and knew he had let the pills pass his lips. I blinked back the tears, frozen to my curled up position in the bed, unable to block out the sounds of Frank writhing and screeching on the cold floor. It was heartbreaking to know that there was nothing I could do but wait for it to stop.

Eventually, I heard the sharp intake of breath and the shocking fall back to reality. Through squinting eyes I saw him climb back into bed, his eyes still moving too fast, and I couldn't hide the dry sob that escaped my lips.

'… Mikey?' he sounded sad, confused, ashamed.

I waited for a few seconds, composing my words, until it suddenly spilled out. 'Why'd you do it, Frank? I've been trying so fucking hard to get off them, for you, so you don't have to see me like that. And then you go and do it right in front of my fucking face?' It was meant to sound angry but it came out as a stupid desperate plea between sobs.

'I'm so, so sorry, Mikey. I just... well, I guess I wanted to see what you meant by when you were explaining to me why you were here on the first day we met. About... 'I escape from here'.'

Several sudden flashbacks of all the different escape artist hallucinations the drug gave flashed through my head in unnerving jolts. Becoming invisible, crawling out of the window and up the side of the building, shrinking small enough to walk through the space under the door. Trying all the ninja shit with the guards.

'But they're not real. I know that better than anyone. And I stopped doing it because... you're the only thing that's making this place okay right now. I thought that maybe I wouldn't need them anymore. And I thought we were helping each other, but apparently not.' My words sounded even smaller than before.

'Listen to me, Mikey. I made a huge mistake, okay? I was stupid, bored, curious – whatever. But neither of us are going to touch drugs again. I'll do whatever it takes to help you – you should've told me you were trying to get off them for me. We don't need them, because...' he turned to me with hard, serious eyes, before continuing

'… Because I'm going to make you a promise. We'll escape from here. For real. Just you and me, we'll do all that escape artist shit and knock out the guards, and we'll run until our hearts give out, and we'll hide out in some abandoned place and generally be badass-'

I giggled. 'You're fucking crazy, Frank.'

He frowned. 'No, listen to me. Then when it all blows over, we'll come out and we'll do all the things we always wanted to do. We'll see al the places we wanted to see. If you could go anywhere in the world, Mikey, where would you go?'

I sighed, but put the fact that he sounded completely insane aside. 'I never went anywhere as a kid. We weren't the richest of families and my brother taught me that that didn't matter as long as we had each other. Yeah, that reminds me, we'll have to go to Gerard's place. I miss him like hell. And I'd love to see the world, y'know? All the places you hear about... Paris, London...'

'Yeah! And y'know where I'd love to see? Italy. I have family there, too, so we'd have a place to stay.' Frank grinned. I wondered if he was taking this too seriously. 'So we'll see the world once we're old news, and people won't care about those two awesome escaped prisoners anymore. What would you like to do that you never got the chance to?'

'Well...' I could feel myself blushing. 'Like I said, we weren't very rich. I never... I never had a bike. Or went swimming. Y'know, just those stupid little things that you learn how to do when you're four or five. And-'

'I'll teach you anything you want. I'll show you the deepest ocean, the highest mountain, the bluest sky. I promise you. We're gonna get out of here for real.'

He took my hand and squeezed it until it hurt me. I laughed, questioning his sanity again, but squeezed his hand just as hard.